were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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