dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
