Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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