New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
