Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
