I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
