You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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