I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
