i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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