I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
