Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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