I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
