We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
