he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just invented taco cereal.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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