Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
