I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
