I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize