everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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