i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I fill condoms, not promises.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
