Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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