We're facebook friends in real life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize