I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
