I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
