just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
