i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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