i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
