Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
