i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
