it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
