Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
