Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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