I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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