i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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