I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
