i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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