the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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