I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
