no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize