take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
