I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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