I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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