FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
