I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
