Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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