He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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