Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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