He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
