I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
