I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
