I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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