They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
