apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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