Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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