naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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