he shaved USA in his pubs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
