So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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