Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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